When a couple in a film decide to start IVF, the next scene generally shows the awkward moments during testing, the woman with her legs in stirrups, or the man heading into a nurse’s office with a small cup. In reality, things are much much slower.

We first broached the subject of IVF with Chris’s kidney nurses. Chris has regular appointments with specialist renal nurses in order to ensure his donor kidney is all well and healthy. As we wanted to look more into Preimplantation Genetic Diagnosis (PGD) in order to eliminate the Polycystic Kidney Disease (PKD) gene from our bloodline, he decided first to discuss our options with them.

Having broached the subject one-on-one, I was brought in with Chris to meet the nurse and further discuss our options. The nurses are always very friendly, however, I am always generally slightly uncomfortable with the amount of happiness some strangers seem to receive at the idea of me getting pregnant. That’s probably simply because I’m not particularly maternal myself, and never enjoy excessive attention.

This initial chat, and the various beaming faces around the room, led to us being referred to the genetics unit of the hospital. The referal took several months, before Chris received a call asking for more information about his condition. PGD through the NHS is currently only sanctioned for a set list of heretidary diseases. Despite the fact that Chris and his mother have both had kidney transplants through the NHS, we still had to go through several months of the disease being ‘confirmed’.

Part of this was getting a blood sample from Chris’s mother and himself. At one point we were also asked for Chris’s brothers to be tested too, however, Chris was able to argue his point that this was unneccassary.

Finally, we were booked in for an online appointment. Niavely we thought this meeting would be the start of discussing how the IVF would be carried out, however, it turned out the genetics department we were meeting with wouldn’t be a part of the process at all. Instead, they were simply verifying that we had a right to the treatment.

As well as PKD needing to be on the approved list for PGD, there are a number of other suitability criteria for IVF itself. These include that I must have a healthy BMI, be under forty and that we both need to be non-smokers.

Once this was confirmed the questions turned to whether I was psychologically prepared for IVF. Everyone I have spoken to, who has been through the process or has known people who have been through it, has told me that it is significantly harder on the woman. At the moment that doesn’t particularly worry me, perhaps because of my pragmatic feelings on the subject of getting pregnant. But of course I haven’t been through it yet, and it’s hard to fear something when you don’t really know what it entails.

The next step from here was for the genetics department to apply for funding for our treatment. This surprised us both, as we naturally assumed that the money would simply be there, ready for couples who wanted to use this process. However, the funding application, we were told, could take several months at least.

And so we waited….

A year later we finally heard that the first part of the funding had been approved. It’s lucky for us that we started this process before we actually wanted to have a baby. We had heard that it took a long time, so even though we weren’t quite ready we thought we would get ourselves into the system. I can’t imagine the frustration and distress these long delays must cause to couples who want to get pregnant as soon as possible.

Funding was granted to allow us to have a meeting with a specialist clinic for PGD IVF. As such a specialised form of IVF, PGD can only be carried out at Guy’s and St Thomas’ in London, however satellite clinics operate out of Sheffield or Leeds. Living in Wales none of these options are particularly convienent, but luckily they are happy to have many of the meetings online until our physical presence is required.

So, on to meeting number 3. This meeting was finally one that seemed to actually involve discussing the process of the IVF treatment. First, we would need to be checked out by our local GPs to see if there were any underlying fertility problems. Though we are not aware of any issues, I have recently been diagnosed with endodemetriosis.

Endometriosis is where the cells of the womb lining grow in other locations around the body. It is difficult to diagnose but can cause fertility issues as well as other health problems. Its effects on sufferers can be incredibly variable, so I don’t know yet what it means in terms of getting pregnant.

Fertility assessment should take around 5 months. Once the clinic has all the data they need, it could then be an additional 6 months wait to begin treatment.

The treatment itself will involve harvesting eggs and sperm in order to fertilise them within a laboratory setting. While Chris’s part is fairly simple, a cubical special, egg collection is more involved. The eggs are collected under local anaesthetic, with a needle being inserted via the vagina to collect them from the ovaries.

As only a proportion of the eggs harvested will become viable embryos, it’s important to take as many as possible. In order to increase the chance of this I will have to have two weeks of egg-maturing hormone injections. This is the bit I’m least looking forward to, because a) I don’t like injections, and b) the consultant stated the injections will create similar hormonal fluctuations to normal menstruation but many times increased. Sounds like a fortnight at Disneyland.

These two weeks should be the most intense, with trips to and from the clinic in Sheffield for tests and treatments.

Once the eggs are fertilised they can then undergo screening for PKD, a few cells being removed and tested. If healthy embroys remain they can then be frozen and the process begins to ready my body for implantation, in a similar manner to the egg harvesting.

As with all IVF patients we have three free cycles, each cycle involving the harvesting of new eggs, as those from the old cycle will have been used up in attempted pregnacies. If, however, we have a successful pregnancy on the first try the funding will be withdrawn. You only get one free IVF baby.

However, if we have remaining viable embryos, we can pay for other attempts. The frozen embryos will be kept by the NHS for a number of years, after which point we have to decide to pay for them ourselves.

Phew – that’s a lot of info. And most of it sounds like something out a science fiction movie.

Firstly, we need to go through the proding and the probing of fertility tests. I’m not holding out much hope that this will happen quickly, as our local GPs is understaffed and usually impossible to get an appointment with. Luckily the consultant did say he could help with this.

On a side note I’m looking forward to understanding more about the endodemetriosis, as this will be something that will be further investigated. Previous conversations with the doctors have seemed to lack any real intention to check this condition properly, with the answer to my questions being that it’s hard to know what it’s doing to my body other than it’s there. A very unsettling state of affairs.

For Chris the tortoise-like trajectory of the process is certainly a source of irritation. For myself, I find sudden changes unsettling. Slow and steady is fine with me, as I think once the baby’s here everything will be very different very fast. I’m happy going one step at a time. But I’m still not looking forward to the needles.